My wife took over complete control of our finances about 4 years ago because she was at home with the kids and it was easier for her to pay the bills online. Over that 4 years we have gone deeper and deeper into debt.
I can’t seem to get control back. I don’t want to be a jerk about it but every time I mention that I would like to start paying some of the bills but it never happens. She has her own income that is more than enough (almost as much as mine) to cover her third of the financial responsibilities.
I even went out and opened a separate bank account so that I could have my pay go into it and I would pay the bills out of it. I had a detailed spreadsheet outlining my debt elimination and bill payment structure.
She now dips into that account. She sometimes writes a check from our joint account, a day in advance of when she’ll have money in that account, and deposits it into my account then takes the cash out. I don’t know the name of it, but it’s borderline illegal or at least immoral.
How can I make her understand what the implications of bad credit are?
How can I put it nicely that I don’t want her using any of my credit cards, using my bank account or interfering in my side of the fiances at all?
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Well, sometimes u have to just set an ultimatum. Sometimes we don’t take thngs into consideration unless we see the seriousness of the matter. However, if u are the kind of couple that can easily talk to each other, then get her into her comfort zone & tell her what u just wrote. Explain it away with something that’s important to her; like the kid’s college fund, a nicer home, a nicer car or a great vacation someday and especially for retirement.
If not, tell her in the subtlest voice that she is not doing a job of handling the finances and effectively pay the bills & monitor ur credit on ur own.It’s about communication. So chose ur words carefully so as to not cause a fight. If u think that’s 2 harsh just open an account at another bank that she’s not a part of and only use it for savings. If u do nothing, it will hurt more in the long run than it is now. Bad credit is a killer in this economy.
*Some women use shopping/spending as a to pass time. Develop some avenue to luring her away from the need to spend or resort to counselling.*
Why is she even able to take money out of your seperate account? Tell the bank to not let her have access to it and then tell her that your taking over paying the bills until the finances are under control. If you really want to give her a hint buy copies of the Tightwad Gazette and Dave Ramsey’s book, then leave them out where they will be seen by her.
I agree with everyone here, I think you should get the book the total money makeover by dave ramsey or listen to his show online is free. http://www.daveramsey.com
you guys are out of control and your marriage is in trouble, get a marriage counselor personal finances are 80% behavior and 20% math.
Hi,
I used “Credit Solution” to settle my debt and avoid bankruptcy.They managed to reduce my debt up to 58%.It’s legitimate.I came across this company on NBC News Special Edition.Check it out here:
http://CreditSolution01.notlong.com
Your issue isn’t money it is communication. I would recommend getting marraige counselling. In order to succeed both of you need to be talking about what is going on with your financing, that means you both budget, you put all the money into one account and call it our money not mine and yours. check out daveramsey.com
Additions:
It goes back to communicating with your wife. Don’t nag or point your finger at her (not saying you are), but calmly tell her how you feel about the situation ie it is making you nevrvous about your financial situation. If communicating doesnt’ work then you need to open an account with your name only. Take your name off all other accounts.